tuning

by Katherine

Here, tonight, we raised our Ebenezer.

This church, bearing shattered marriages, dying babies, sick babies, joint pain, soul pain, car accidents, false accusations, and the rest of humanity’s groanings for rightness and wholeness.

And for all we carry, we are holding each other upright, helping each other praise.

I came weary, too. Quietly tossing, anxious and afraid. Tired of forgetting that Jesus is Lord, and is enough for my heart, this marriage, our health, this bill, this resume, this home, this week, that friendship,
enough for it all.

But this giving of thanks, (while saying pain is not done, but yet we praise for His doing all things well)-tuned my discordant heart over mercies thankfully taken yet quickly forgotten, in which the Father reached deeply into need, speaking his promises to shaking faith, whether or not prayers had been answered or even prayed.

So, for resting tonight, and for the common rejoicing, a few of my heart’s loudest songs:

.My Redeemer lives.
.New Life church helps me see Jesus and breathe the air of grace.
.At just the right time, through a story better than my best dreams, I have been given Seth. And though he is not my fullness, life sure is better with him.
.Seth has insulin, and soon, insurance.
.We have good food, and a darling home.
.In the snow last year, Seth’s car took the force of the crash, and within hours he was joking again.
.Our jobs may be ordinary, but they are ours, and we have all that we need.
.Friends have loved me, and have given of themselves for me when least expected, least deserved, and most needed.
.Soon, I will be an auntie.
.I don’t have to prove my goodness, talent, or beauty to be loved. Jesus is all that for me, and I am learning to toss the bonds of perfectionism and believe freedom.

                               

              Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.

                                

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